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Book 4. LIVE in St Thomas, Buckra De Paehae “De Inheritance Box”

November 17, 2010 Leave a comment

Book 4.  LIVE  In St. Thomas, Buckra De Paehae  “The Inheritance Box:,  And LINK to Buckra De Paehae CD. www.thecollectedworksofscottfagan.com

 Dear Friends,

Many of you expressed an interest in knowing when the “Buckra De Paehae” CD would be released and available. It is both, here is the link to the CD www.thecollectedworksofscottfagan.com

And here is “The Inheritance Box” recorded live in my Concert version of “The Virgin Islands Songs” presented  at The J. Antonio Jarvis Museum on Pollyberg Hill In St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. Earlier this year (2010) Have fun!                                                  Scott

“The Inheritance Box”

 

It came to pass dat your boy was given a inheritance box lef for him (me) or whoso an whensoever would care to claim de great an mysterious inheritance sent down from all de Buckra De Paehae’s since time begin. Being dat I am he an he is me (Buckra De Paehae dat is) I undahtook  to receive de great blessings of my ancestry.. an to open up de box. .

 In trut,  I was hoping to fine riches by de gallon wrap up in diamons an pearls an ting,  Yu could imagine my surprise when all ah fine in de box is five poun a paper and 10 half pint a rum. De papers was ol and skrinkle up but de rum bokkle dem was in good shape, in fac someone a dem ancestral Buckra had gone to de trouble of opening each one of  de rum bokkles and making a note of his opinion as to de quality of de contents. In fac mos a dem was half empty an some was treequarter gan. De message on de tree quarter ones was clear an to de point “Laadee me boy, das a good one!” an “Yu lucky ah leave sum fo yu”.

 Inside de box was a nex lil box  wid a ben up nail thru a lil eyehook pretenin tu be a lock, an inside of dat was de heart an soul of de whole ting, a folup up document write out ana brun paper bag (wha look frum de grease stain, like it had in benye an salfish pate once apon a time, but now only contained 4 or 5 lil clump a sumting wha look like a hanful of dry up gongolo).de writin was big an bol so it could look like somebody reading it stanin up on top de roof  of de Luturun Chuch o maybe doun in de ol dungeon undahneet a  Fort Christian.  

Here is wha de ting sae. “Whosoever dat is he who tink he is de rightful air of de fortunes of de Great House of  Buckra De Paehae is hereby granted all of de righteous inheritance dat belongs tu him an de responsibility dat goes alang wid dat”

 An doun below was a lis of tings startin out wid dis.

 1. Owed to Santiago de Espinoza de Consuelo de Espania y Puerto Rico Y Santa Cruz. One musket, One Bottle of Sangria, One unused Hangman’s noose and a Caballo. (Ano Domine 1494)

2. Owed to Santana De Flores de Alhambra Y Cristobal, One small sacke de Gold Coin and a single masted sloop named “La Senora de Mala Suelte” (Ano Domine 1494)

 De lis continue on like dat an on thru de years of every Buckra De Paehae (includin’ a note frum de 1950’s stating dat tree Benye ana salfish Pate was owed to a place called de Besabe Bakery, which explained de grease stain on de bag)  frum den til now!

All kina ting on dat lis me boy, but not  a monarch o even a map to help fine me way thru de wurl. Only Buckra owe dis an Buckra owe dat and Buckra owe de nex one too. An boy, what a lot a Buckra!

 De fac is I is Buckre De Pehae de fus, my faddah is Buckra De Paehae de fus fus, his faddah was Buckra De Paehae de FUS fus fus, an his faddah was Buckra De Paehae de FUS fus fus fus an so on til yu reach up to Buckra De Paehae de FUS fus fus fus fus fus fus fus fus fus,  befo he become Buckra De Paehae de FUS fus fus fus fus fus fus fus fus fus, his name was “Maximillius O’Kelly O’Galvin O’ Fagan de Lafitte, Marseilles an Orleans”. Is only when he come doun here long ago like a teif an he mash up he dash up he crash up his sailing boat onna reef, dat de start to call him Buckra De Paehae. But how a Irish Man name and a French man name could mix up togeddah like dat I don kno, dey mussa had a bunch a woman mix up in de middle wid dem.

 My Muddah tell me me Faddah an alla de olden days Buckra was always gettin mixin up wid too many woman fo dey own good. Dat musbe wha she mean. All de same how a man come tu be a Irish ana English ana French ana Scotch ana Dutch ana German ana Welsh man mash up all togeddah insida one brains, is a good question dat nobody cain answer fo me, but das wha me muddah  say is de actual facts of de ting. She say dat I is all a dem boy plus I is de Buckra De Paehae of de presen time an place.. Tu tell yu de trut, I suspec all of dat is wha have me confuse an lookin to fin me forchunes in a box fulla IOU an second han rum bokkle.

 It look like dem oltime  Buckra De Paehae had kno everybody befo dey was wha dey come now and every place befo dey change up dey name an almos everyting wha evah happen to everybody befo dey come anybody an so on like dat. It look like dem boy had live in de middle of mash up an melee. Like “who bun doun de town in 1742” and who bun up de toun in 1809, (de note from dem two Bruckra say “Don mine wha nobody sae, it ‘tain me me boy, I ain’ do a ting” an “Needah me!”

 De only time whe ah see sumbody owe de Buckra sumting is whe a special issue of de St. Thomas Tilden (January, 1868)  sae “The  Imperial Government of The Danish West Indies has concluded that (based on the testimony of a certain Obeah Woman said to be the muddah in law of the party in question) it owes Mr. Buckra De Paehae 100 lashes wid de Cat O Nine an two monts in de dark hole fo causin de recent tidal wave, two Hurricane and de Cholera epidemic.”..  Laad, po’ Paehae..

 The Buckra CD is now available at www.thecollectedworksofscottfagan.com

Book 4. The Buckra De Paehae CD Cover and Link and Book 4. “The Virgin Islands Song”

November 9, 2010 1 comment

Book 4. The Buckra De Paehae CD Cover and Link and Book 4. “The Virgin Islands Song”

Dear Friends,

Here is the cover of “Buckra De Paehae”  and a link to  www.thecollectedworksofscottfagan.com where the Buckra CD is available right now.

 

The "Buckra De Paehae" CD Cover

The "Buckra De Paehae" CD Cover

 

Please pass the Buckra De Paehae link along to your friends and anyone that you think will identify with, enjoy and understand this kind of Virgin Islands ”Schupidness”.

 It is an honor and a pleasure for me to be associated with Buckra and all that he represents culturally and comedicly about our lives in The Virgin Islands.

It is my prayer that Buckra De Paehae and the Buckra stories will always be seen and received in the spirit offered, a spirit  of intense love and pride in the Virgin Islands and their people.

 Now, having gotten my self all stirred up, I am attaching “The Virgin Islands Song”. to get you all stirred up too! Hoping to see you someday, somewhere, sometime, soon

The Virgin Islands Song  

                                                           

Have you ever been, to a Virgin Island?
If you answer no, come let’s go come let’s go
Have you ever seen what
Virgin Islands mean?
If you answer no come let’s go, come let’s go

In this world of gray on gray
I know where the rainbow day
Is born upon the golden sunrise
That scatters the stars turning diamonds to sky
Over Amalie… like an emerald in the sea
Her perfumed mystery, bold as love longs to be.

Have you ever seen what Virgin Islands mean?
If you answer no come let’s go, come let’s go

In this world of grey on grey
I know where the rainbow day
Is born upon the golden sunrise
That scatters the stars turning diamonds to sky
Over sisters three… like emeralds in the sea
Their peoples history, bold as love wild and free.

Have you ever been, to a Virgin Island?
If you answer no, come let’s go come let’s go
Have you ever seen what
Virgin Islands mean?
If you answer no come let’s go, come let’s go

If you answer no, come let’s go, come let’s go…

                    Scott Fagan Music ASCAP

Book 4. The CD is Shipping. And Book 4. “Granfaddah Buckra An De Ol’ Geeal”

November 1, 2010 Leave a comment

 Book 4. CD is Shipping and Book 4. “Granfaddah Buckra An De Ol’ Geeal”

The cover is done, the dedications are made, the printer is partially paid, and copies are on their way to lil’fish in St. Thomas. Our outlet there is “The Virgin Islands Cooperative store” on the corner of the waterfront directly across from “tent city” aka the Venders Mall. For the moment, email orders are,,, orders@lilfishrecords.com

We continue work on Scott Fagan and The MAAC Island Band “Live” album “Shake A Bum” we are anxious to get that finished so we can set up some concert appearances back home. We are happy to do benefits and fund raisers here there and anywhere as long as they are legit. Talk to us. I am thrilled that The Buckra tickles so many people, I love that kind of schupidness I always have and always will.  I guess that is why

the CD is dedicatrd to Mango Jones, Brownie (and Walter) Ms. Arona Peterson and her wonderful “Undah De Market”  Daily Niws column and all Virgin Island artists yet to come. Perhaps I ought to have said all Virgin Islands Artists  devoted to and specializing in “schupidness” but one needs to be supportive across the board, and, more seriously, we must encourage and support Virgin Islands Artists in every way that we can. It’s just so.

They have just released a new film “Strange Powers” about my son (also a writer, singer and recording artist) Stephin Merritt and his band “The Magnetic Fields”  I think that two of my recordings from my CD “Dreams Should Never Die” (The Virgin Islands Songs Vol. 2.) “Where My Lover Has Gone” and “La Biega Carosuel/Tutsie are in the film. Incedently, I have been credited as writer of La Biega Carosuel but La Biega is an old Virgin Islands Folk song, that predates us all, What I did write is “Tutsie” and created  the medley and arrangement of the two together. When a writer arranges a PD (public domain) folksong the performing rights organizations (ASCAP, BMI,  SESAC) credit him or her as writer)

I learned La Biega Carosuel directly from and at the knee of, the notorious “Ruppee” aka “The Vampire” aka “De Obeah Man” aka The Emporor Of The North” aka “Captian Creole” aka “Calwin Martin Moolenar´ himself,  of Estate Nelteburg and all points beyond. In any case, it is a very busy time, and that is good.

Here is another Buckra piece, I hope that you will enjoy it as much as I did and do writing and performing it. 

Book 4. “Granfaddah Buckra An De Ol’ Geeal”

A time when I wa small ah went to see me ol’ granfaddah de ol’ Buckra de Paehae de fus fus fus. Ah sae “Granfaddah! Ah come tu see yu!” He sae “Ok den, look me hare, but yu gon got tu bettah stay ou de way, a Ol’ Geeal coming to see me fo something an ah don wan yu get mashup when de action start!” Ah sae “Ah Ol’ Geeal? Ah Ol’ Geeal? Who it tis, granfaddah, who it tis? He sae “Ah me bouy, don worry bout dat, yu gon see, don worry bout dat.”

 I sae “but Granfaddah, wha kina action yu gon do wid a ol’ Geeal, yu gon teach ha how tu fall asleep in de chair? Yu gon teach ha how tu take out an put in ha teet dem? How to play domino?  Granfaddah, Yu tink de ol’ Geeal gon wan tu hear bou when yu poisen yu self an almos whole a dounde road,  when yu cook up dat Barracota in de olden days? Oh how yu used tu tief Mango?  An Granfaddah wha yu gon gee she tu eat? De Ol’ Geeal ain gon wan no  sardine and French bread to wash doun wid kool aid, Wha wrang wid yu, Granfaddah, you don know you too ol to have a ol’ Geeal?”

 “Ahh meboy” he sae “ahh meboy” das wae yu wrang, you mubbe tink yu Granfaddah ban ol’? Yu dunno yu Granfaddah is a sharp boy? Yu dunno yu talking tu de man de used to call “Buckre de Pale-Male, de champagne ah Gingerale?” Ahh mebouy, in dose days Yu Gran Papeeto had woman like mosquito, woman like whelks, like genip, woman wha couden done me boy. Yu tink ah spen me whole life scratchin me baney? No Sah, Yu tink all I cou do is siddown onna salfishbox outside de kitchen do? No Sah, Not me me bouy, De ol Buckra still know a ting or two, yu gon see, don worry bou dat!”

 De minute Granfaddah see de Ol’ Geeall by de do, he suck in he belly an he  stann up straight straight, den he sweep off he hat an he bow doun low like Erroll Flynn, he sae “Come right in my darling, come right in my dear,”

 

Bouy, ah couldn believe me oy dem, de Ol’ Geeal wa de famous Carnival Queen from Nineteen Fifty odd and we da see ha pitchure in de newspapah almos every week for doin something good, Dis Ol’ Geeal is like de fus lady of de lan. Wha sh doin hare wid me Granfaddah?

 

 Before ah could ask ha dat question, she watch me straight in me face and she sae “Good afternoon young man, I’m hear to take de measure of your Grandfaddah’s curtin rods” and wid dat de two a dem went straight in side de bedroom.

 

De nex ting yu know, ah hearin’ “tee hee hee” and “tae hae hae” den something fall doun on de bed an de spring start to squeak and squeal , an Man, ah embarrass to tell yu wha come nex, ah hear de ol Geeal  sae “OY!, OY!” Den she sae “Oh me dahlin’  Paehae yu know das how ah like it, yu know das how ah like it,” den she start tu bawl out “Oh Godee, Oh Godee!” (Ah sae to me self “what does dat have tu do wid curtin rods?”)

She SINGIN’ now, “Yes Sah, Buckra, OOWEE!” She SINGIN”now! “Yes Sah! Buckra, OOWEE! Yu got me goin, yu got me goin OY OY,” ah hear dem bouncing up an bouncing up! “Oh Godee Oh Godee!” She bawl out “Don stop now don stop now!” Den a “KA_POW!” ah hear de bed broke doun! An den all ah hear is notin atall, noting atall  den de Ol’ Geeal say .. “Hello? HELLO?”

 

De nex tin I know de Ol’ Geeal bus out tru de do bawlin’ out “Oh God! Oh God! Sonny boy come quick, yu Granfaddah Dead, Yu Granfaddah dead!, Ah done kill yu po Granfaddah, Oh God Sonny boy, ah sae yu po ol Granfaddah dead”

 

Ah went in tu see fo meself, Man de ol’ boy wa white like a ghos, he oy dem wa roll back in he head, he toung hangin out de side a he mout,. De woman bawl out “Oh God I’s a murderah, I’s a murderah! Ah done kill de sweet ol Buckra!”

Den she sae “Ah got to get outta hare befor me chrren dem fine out, ah gato go, I ain wan me chrren dem know I ain wan nobody kno”…an wid dat she pick up ha wig an she run ou de back and clime doun in de gut an clim up de uddah side a de gut, den she broke thru de chicken coop an she wa gan..

 

Ah sae “OH Godee!, OH Godee!  De ol Geeial done gan an le me here alone wid me po dead Granfaddah”… Ah sae “Oh Godee, how ah gone tell me Mammie, who it tis kill me Granfaddah? How ah gone tell me Mamee wha dey wa doin in de bedroom? Wha ah gon tell de Police?

Ah dunno what u tell de whorl?”

 

Jus den ah hear what soun like me dear ol Granfaddah voice sae “boy wha wrang wid yu, yu bettah stop yu bawlin befo ah hit yu some clout”..when ah tun around, it…it… look like ah see me Granfaddah dae sittin down good as gol an winkin he oy

 

Ah sae “but Granfaddah yu done dead like a ol keeat, de ol Geieal done kill yu, yu ain know yu done dead awreaddy Granfaddah? Yu don tink yu bettah lay doun?”

 

He sae “Ahh me bouy, don be schupiddy, yu keean see das me good way tu get rid a dem guirl? Das me lil trick tu mek dem go home when ah done had me way wid dem.” He sae “Ahh me Bouy…don worry bout a ting, an jus wait til yu see de two Ol’ Geeal wha commin’ tomorrow”!!!

Book 4. Buckra De Paehae, Captain Hookfoot! Live At The J. Antonio Jarvis Museum, Pollyburg Hill, St.Thomas, Virgin Islands.

October 18, 2010 2 comments

POST 72. Buckra De Paehae…“CAPTAIN HOOKFOOT” LIVE AT THE J. ANTONIO JARVIS MUSEUM, Pollyburg Hill, St.. Thomas, Virgin Islands.

 Home folks appear to have enjoyed “Granfaddah Buckra An De Bo’ Hog” So, well…here is another. This one is a  live, “in performance” recording  of “Captain Hookfoot” recorded at the Jarvis Museum, on Pollyburg Hill, in St. Thomas Virgin Islands.

I hope that you will enjoy it as much as the audience and I did that wonderful evening at Jarvis.. lilfishrecords.com..(out of  St.Thomas, Virgin Islands) is currently preparing to release (This November) a Buckra CD entitles “So Sae Buckra De Paehae” Volume 1.

The CD contains eight Buckra stories, equaling a full 60 Minutes of good fus class Virgin Islands schupidness!.

Here it is…   Captain Hookfoot!                                     

 It came to pass that one day dem boy an me was warm up to go onna expedition way doung doung doung in de wes to Bordeaux Bay to fine de gol lef dare in de days of ol by de pirates of ol dat somebody say dey kno fo sure, was hide up in de top of a tamon tree.

We had quite a long ways to go an many a place to see before we would return home dat evening. Fus, on de way to Bordeaux we plan to stop by de ol Plantations at Filamingo Pon an de ol Plantation in Fortuna to pick up whatever treasure we could fine along de way den continue on to Botney Bay an clean out de treasure doung dere befo we dig up de big one at Bordeaux an bring it home.

My secret hope was dat we would only fine a likkle bit of treasure along de way, quick  quick so dat we would’n fine ourself all de way doung Bordeaux after de night fall in de ol winswep an abandoned ruins doung dere in de in de pitch black of de dark night.

Now, I kno how tu preten tu be brave when people watchin’ jus like anybody else, but lemme tell yu sumting, I have seen almost grown man bawlout fo de muddah when dey tink a Jumbie hol dem or see a Jumbie commin. An boy don tink fo a minute dat doung dae ain de home a Jumbie, hundreds a dem an more. Jumbie like sanfly me bouy, De minute de sun go down an shadows fall on dem, de Jumbie dem come pourin up out de groun an dropping doung ou de trees to see wha goin on… Laad meboy, yu don’t wan to be de ting dey fine. Jumbie frum all part a de worl me boy every one a dem wan to climb up in yu coconut,  an take ovah de driving 

 Jumbie fighting Jumbie all jumble up an top a one annudah, Carib Jumbie, trying to eat up de Arawak Jumbie wha fighting wid de Spaniard Jumbie who fighting wid de Cha Cha Jumbie, ah ah mean de french Man Jumbie,  who fightin wid de English Jumbie who clashin wid de Dane man and de wild eye African Jumbie an all a dem fighting wid Black tooth de Pirate Jumbie,  excepin if somebody who ain dead fall in wid dem, den every las one a dem Jumbie gon jump on he to see who could suck out he eye an climb in he coconut tu come back to life.

Das wha de Jumbie wan tu do yuh kno, take ovah yu coconut, an jump on yu donkey and go back town an preten like he is you, an take away yu wife an yu girlfrien, Yes man dat happens all de time.

 Well like ah sae, we was ready fo de high adventure, Bucky an Brudsie an Boomie an Tutie and Tutsie an Papoon an Joel an  de res a dem boy, de only problem was who gon be who, everybody wan to be Roy Rogers an ride in de front ah de donkey. Not me dough, I is Gene Autry de singing cowboy an nobody cain argue wid dat, I could be who I wan to be because is my donkey an I gon ride in de front. All de same, de Laad ha sen a bunch a donkey, man we had bou tree o fo a dem. Among dem is de one wha ah have to keep me eye on de mos because he is nuttin but a schupid jackass wha broke me bowstick when ah was protekkin me lil jenny gurl Madras, I wouldda stay behine ahe exceppin Gene Autry got to lead de geang, so ah wa goin tu have tu go doung de road kina sideways.

All de same alla dem Roy Rogers an Lash Larue an de Long Rangeah an Jungle Jim (wid de inscruchable Fu Man Chu thro in in dey) every one a dem tink dey should be leadin de ban, an das ok wid me becausin de only time I acktually really got tu be in front is when de Jumbie dem cumin frum behine.

 If yu wan tu kno de trut, when Jumbie cummin, I gon jump off de donkey an run fo me life on me own two foot. I done keaar wha yu say.. de ain a donkey in de worl gon run faser dan me when Jumbie cumin from behine

Jeesumbred what a ting dat would be..news flash tonight meboy, man dead doung Bordeaux, donkey bawlin blood, Jumbie biteup man head befo dey could climb up in de driver seat, but not me me boy, I gane like a  “flash of white in de night”. 

Dem boy could stan de wid dey schupidness how yu gon fight a Jumbie?Wha yu gon hol an tu when yu wan tu thro im doung? How yu gon thro him doung when yu fraid tu touch him? Who gon touch a Jumbie? Not me meboy. I jamming de ol gol in me pocket, an I gan. Who wan tu be in front a me den bettah cum good because when dem Jumbie cum pourin up ou de groun, I jumpin off de donkey an I gan.

Wall we moseyed on down de trail headin out wes singin de “yippi kai yi yoo get along little donkey song” an up an ovah de officers quarters hill and doung in de valley where de green grass grows, an up again to de top a de hill by Jahnbruisebay where upon we stopped to survey all dat lay before us.

 As we moseyed on doung to de bay, dem boy tinkin bou all de goobers an rasinetts dey gon buy wid de pirate treashah. I tinkin bou Jumbie,. when jus den, de closes ting to a Jumbie jump ou de bush an grabb on to me donkey head. It was de notorious “hookfoot” one a dem very ol an very crazy “ol crazy man”  wha live doung Jahnbruise, bunnin coal an drinking rum. Hookfoot was raving an wavin a cutlash.

In an instant I fell back on me yankin “Isn’t she.. Isn’t she a pretty donkey? I said in a quakey timid likkle voice, “Oh Yeah? yo lil red arm muddah skunk yu”, he thunderd, “I’ll kill yu muddah skunk hare today, a pretty donkey? A pretty donkey? Yu donkey teeffin Muddah $%^%$ yu!  I katch yu, yu yu lilred arm Buckra ting yu, Dis donkey is MINE. Get aff me donkey oh ah sweaa I’ll kill yu muddah skunk  rite here today”! All dis time he slashin de cutlash back an fort gains de asphalt an de sparks dem flyin up like de fort of July.

 Well ah had tu catch me self quick when ah realize all a dem boy watchin an ah cain let meself be embarrass like dat in front a dem, at de same time ah kina glad tu realize what evah gon happen here, I ain goin have tu deal wid de Jumbie dem doung Bordeaux tonight. 

“Well Mr. Hook Sah” I said, as I jumped doung off de donkey,  “I am glad to be de one who was able to fine an secure an return dis fine animal to you, mah name is Gene Autry de singing Cowboy an mah game is mekin everyting have a happy endin. An wid dat I’ll bid yu a good day sah, I have tu be getting back to de movies”.

An wid dat I turn aroung ana run rite home savin’ de pirate treasah fo annudah day, sometime early in de manin….Yes man,..an das de trut!

Book 4. Granfaddah Buckra An De Bo’Hog

October 3, 2010 3 comments

Back ground vocals on Tuesday morning for the new LIVE album, New York City on Wed and Thur, to do interviews for the Doc Pomus Documentaery, and the Jimi Hendrix/Steve Paul’s Scene Documentry.

So…Here’s a brand new “Buckra de Paehae”, I hope that you enjoy it!

GRAN FADDAH  BUCKRA AN DE BO’ HOG

Scott Fagan  9/30-10/2 2010

Well… now it happen so dat Gran Faddah Buckra had de biggest, de schupides, de ugliest, de stinkis, de noisiest and de nastyiest Bo Hog  anybody had evah seen..

de Buckra liked to call him King George, and he loved dat Bo Hog like a Bruddah

One day de neighbor dem come sae…,

 

“Buckra, you know Black people is good people, an de don mine if yu wan tu live wid dem an roun dem an side a dem oh undah neet a dem oh on top a dem or all in de middle an in between a dem  excepin’ when dat big  stinkin ugly’ bo’ hog of yours own “dat yu likes tu call King George”, du knock doun he pig pen “dat yu likes tu call he Castle of King George” an wha yu set up right in de middle a de yad, dat yu likes tu call “de Kingdom of King George” when dat Bo’ hog come  rootin up in every body business all ovah de yad, an throwin’ doun de cloths line wid all de chirren dem clean clothes on it, an rootin’ up an rollin up in all de woman dem clean panty, rootin up and rollng ovah doung  in de dutty mud an stinkin’ up de place an oinkin up de place an squealin up de place like de las pig outta hell an  wakin’ up all de people dem in de yad which of late has  happen almos every  single  night a de week an twice on Sunday,

 

An Buckra, like we say, yu n kno black people is good people an we don mine, but Buckra OH God Buckra,.we tink is time you should go live among yu own kine”..

 

Me own kine? sae de Buckra, me own kine? Wha kina kine yu tink is me own kine?

 

De boldest of de Neighbah dem sae “we have contemplated and conclude you should go live doun in Cha Cha tuun”,

 

“Cha Cha toun? Say de Buckra, Cha Cha Toun?”

Yes sah Buckra we have decided that you should go live  wid de res a dem Cha Cha doun in  Cha Cha toun”

 

“Yu tink oy is a Cha cha? Yu tink oy is a Cha Cha?

Yu loy,! Yu don kno I is a white man?

 I ain no Cha Cha, yu Muddah is a Cha Cha!”

 

No no! de uddah Neighbah say, no no not a Cha Cha, St. Thomas ain ga no Cha Cha no more, We doesn use that expression no more, she mean tu sae you should go live wid de res a dem doun Carenage..ers doun in Carenage..

 

Carenage? Carenage? Who yu callin a Carenage?  yu Muddah is aa Carenage!

No No Mistah Buckra, das de Frenchie dem way tu say  French Toun,

 

French Toun? French Toun? Yu tink I should go live in French Toun?

Yes sah Mistah Buckra, Everybody in de yad say yu is  a Balahoo..

Das why yu should go livewid de res a de balahoo dem  doun in Cha Cha, ah mean French ah mean Carenage Toun!

 

Anuddah neibah pipe in

“Yes man yu keeian see how it is?

Guana should live wid Guana,

Mongoose should live wid Mongoose,

Guava don grow onna Cenepe Tree and yu shluld be wid de res a de Frenchie, Doun in Frenchie Toun”

 

De Buckra hot now, he say Guana? Guana? Who yu callin a Guana? Yu muddah is a Guana!

Not a Guana, de neighbah sae, not a Guana, yu is a Frenchie.

 

“Oy? Oy? You schupid oh sumting? Yu damn forward  AN schupiddy Oy ain no Frenchie,  Oy Is a white man yu talking to… Any body cou see I is a white man,.. wha wrang wid yu, anybody cou see Buckra De Paehae is a white man!”

 

Buckra, (say de very darkest a de neighbah dem)  Buckra, If you is a white man I is a Frenchie, if yu is a white man, why we don hear yu Yankin, Buckra, why we don hear yu yankin?”

 

 “Yankin? Yankin? Sae de Buckra,  yu want tu hear me Yankin?”

 

“Ok den.

AYHMM  COME FRUM ALABAMA

WID A BANJO ON MAH KNEE, BUT NOW AH MMM JES A SAILOR IN THE U.S NAYVEE”

 

“Yu see wha ah tell yu? Yu see wha ah tell yu? De neighbah sae, he ain no white man, he ain no white man. He keeian yank! Bou he is a white man, a white man wha keeian Yank? Yu evah see a white man wha keeian yank? De Buckra ain no white man, he is nuttin’ but a mushay! Ah say Sen im doun French Town!

 

Oh yeah say de Buckra, Oh Yeah? Ok, den.. “AH KIN SEE AHMM A GONNA HALF TA TALK REAL SERIOUS TU YAALLS SO YALL’S GONNA KNOW DAT YU IS TALKIN’ WID A BIG TIME AN  IMPORTANT WHITE MAN WHEN YU IS DEALING WID DE BUCKRA.

 

NAH AHM A GONNA TELL YA SUNPIN, AH DON’T LIKE DE WAY SOMEFOLKS IS BEEN HARASSIN’ AN HOG TIEIN’ MY GOOD  KING GEORGE THE PO’K SWINE WID YER CLOTHLINES EVERY NIGHT AN AHMM A GITTIN’ TIURD AH TELLIN YA SO,

BUT JUS SOS,  DERES NO HARD FEELINS,AN DIS DON’T BECOME SOME KINA  FUGE, AH RECKON AHMM A GONNA PACK UP MAH SADDLEBAGS AN TAKE MA HERD, AH MEAN MA BO’HOAWAWG,  AN MOSEY ON DOUN WEST.

 

Yes Yes, Buckra de neighbah dem say, yes yes das de bes ting Buckra,  mosey on doun west to Cha Cha toun…

 

An Me Boy, das when de REAL trouble start!

 

Buckra and  de Bo’ Hog went straight doun to French Town an walk right in to de famous Normandy Bah, it wa round 11 a clock in de mawnin so naturally de place wa almos full. Half a de man dem wa teachin’   high school and mos a de legislatue was doun dare tu get a good head start on de day. Plus a few Sailah Man…

 

Now de Bucvkra had done make up he mine dat  he ain talking no mo Island talk, because he ain wan nobody to make no mo mistake bou de fac dat  is a white man through an through, from den on he Yankin straight,

Well… maybe a white man wid a lil someting else throw in in dare but all de same de Buckra say he  Yankin’ straight.

“WAL MA GOOD FRENCHIE FELLOW” he say to de lil bahman “ LEMME HAVE DE BES RED SODA DAT YOU GOT IN DE PLACE AN PLUS AH WANTS TU RENT A LIL HOUSE FROM Y’ALL DOUN IN DIS HEAH FRENCH TOWN”

Dat time a man name Magras, sae “

 

“Hey hey wait meson wait, Wha yu tink yu goin wid dat Bo hog?”Dis is de Narmandy Bah, only de bes a people cu come in in side a heah an we don deal wid no Bo Hag doun French Toun , We is fishah man doug here, RIDERS ON THE SEA!  You in de wrang place me boy, yu bettah go Nart side whea yu cou join up wid de res a dem RIDERS ON A DONKEY, an fuddah mo you ain no Frenchie!  You mubbee som kina doublebreed Daneman  an Putto Rician from Sain Croix!

 

All dis time three or fo drunken Sailah done feed King George de Bo Hog  mo dan a quart a rum and coke chase down wid bou five or six cold schafah beer me boy, and de Bo Hog  feelin’ it now.

 

“OINK! OINK!  SQUEEE! SQUEEE! OINK! OINK!  SQUEEE! SQUEEE! Say de Bo Hag.

 

Den he take off trunning roung and roung in de Normandy Bah, tunnin up and knockin doun table a chair, lef and right, all ovah de place, dis time he change he tune he  bawling out “ (SQUEEYAW SQUEEYAW OINK OINK! SQUEEYAW! SQUEEYAW!   De nex ting yu know de Bo Hag stop an start tu swing and sawy. He open he eye dem wide wide and den… he vomit up a Green an Yellow tidal wave of de wus stinkin frat full a ole drawers and panty yu evah see.

De sailah dem killing dey self wid de laugh, but de Frenchie dem don tink it’s so funny ah tall.

 

Well me boy, Buckra an de Bo Hag had tu haul dey “humpf” outta French Town man dey two a dem run straight an all de way up Demarara Gut through mo jackspania and catchankee… dem boy ain stop til de reach de very top a Crown  an some ways doun de uddah side.

 

An dats how Buckra and de Bo Hag fus arrive in Nelteburg.

But befo yu know it dat Bo Hog King George wa makin trouble an terrorizing de poor people dem out dare, rooting up in de peppah patch and knockin doun de cloths line.. well until he disappeared one day.

 

 Some people say King George de Bo’ Hog decided tu go St. John an is de Faddah and de Gran Faddah of mos a de wus a de wile pig an even some a de wile donkey dem   harassin de people dem up dare in St. John,

 

Som uddah people say dem Nart side French man finally get tu hol de Bo’ hog,, an had de biggis roas pig  of all time, evah dat Bastille Day doun Hull bay,

 

But mos of all a taxi man say he know fo a fac dat dem boy from the de Agricultural Station out Dorithia catch King George an dress him up like a touris an put him onna touris boat, an nobody didn’t  notice de difference between he an de res a dem til’ dey reach back Florida me boy.

I don kno about dat, but de pert I tell yu, is wha happen an das de trut de whole trut an nuttin but de trut… So help me Miss Gearty!

 

Book.4 When Buckra De Paehae Went To Go To De States

“When Buckra De Paehae Went To Go To De States”

Man one day I look around ana realize all me fren dem, every las one a alla dem boy, done gan to de states..an so I sae to me self, ah sae “Buckra you bettah go see wha goin on up in de states to see if yu want to join up wid dem up dae an become one a dem  freshwater Yankee jus like de res a dem boy.”

 Well me boy, de trouble start, when ah went down to de travel office to buy me plane ticket,  De white woman sittin doun in dare sae “May I help yu?”Ah say yes Mum,  ah wan to go to de states. De woman say, “where would you like to go?” Ah say, ah say, ah would likes to go to de states, de woman say fine, where do you want to go, Ah say wha wrang wid yu you keeyan undahstan English? Yu bettah don frig me up, Ah sae ah wants tu go tu the states S.T.A.T.S. de states, de states! Wha wrang wid yu? Is yu schupid o sumtin?

 Wid dat de woman went in de back an come back out wid a big strang bighead jackass of a island man. He say..yu wan me bilge in yu ass fo yu? Wha yu come in here tu frigg up de people dem fa,.. yu bettah scat yu ass befo ah broke it up in splinters!

Wha? ah say wa? Yu kno who yu talking to like dat? Ah say I is a man wha come in here to pay Kole keash to go tu de states an yu going on like a jack ass wid me? Wha wrang wid yu, ah say ah wan to go tu de states, yu nevah heard a de place?

 Jus den de woman squeaky lil voice pipe up from in de back, she sae “ask the Idiot where  he wants to go to, you’ll see” So de Islan man say “Whey ‘tis  yu wan tu go” Now de Buckra starting tu ge frigup, yu know ha ah mean?

How many times ah gat u tell dese schupiddy people whae it is ah wan tu go? Ah say ah wan to go tu de states! De man come up close close and he say “look yu schupid buckra, Don’t you know that there is more than one state in de states?” Ah say more dan one state? more dan one state? of course I kno dares more dan one state. wha wrang wid yu, yu tink I don kno about  Englan and France? but I wan tu go see dem boy in de united state.

 De woman in de back call out, “call the cops, Renwick, nobody can’t be that stupid”

Ah sae who de hell yu callin schupid.. is yu don’t know how to sell a  plane ticket tu go to de states, Ahh yu cou kiss me royal red bate me boy, I gan frum here!

An wid dat ah leave ou de place, ana went straight ovah to de seaplane. De fus man wha ah see ovah dae ah sae, tell me something my good fellow,  does ah yu know how to fin de states? De man sae of course, but dis plane goin Sain Croix, ah sae but if ah gon ge yu me good money tu go tu de states, yu can’t tun around de plane an go to de states? De man sae, wha wrang wid yu, yu drunk o something? Ah sae no man it too early fo dat, I only had bout tree or four..tu start off de day…de man sae “My dear fellow,.. yu bettah go down tu de airport and tell dem people whae yu wan tu go..ah tink dey gon know exactly wha to do fo yu.

 So ah pick up me suitcase, ana wen doun de road lookin fo de airpoat, Boy when ah reach up tu de top a China Man Hill, ah cou see how de ting dem change up, almost alla China Man Hill,.. gan from China man Hill,

 Ah stop a fellow ana say “Hey meson, Wha happen to de whole a doun de road, wha happen tu de China Man dem? whey all dey people dem fum Nisky gane?, An “OhGodee”, ah sae, look wha happen tu Sara Hill!

 De whole a Sara Hill what was dare since de Island get belch up from de bottom of de deep blue sea, is gan, ah sae Tell me man, ah gotta know, wha goin on doun here?

 De man sae, “No habla engles” Ah SaeWha? I mubbe gan Poto Rico.

 When ah did finally arrive at whea de Harry S. Truman airport suppose tu be, ah see all kina ting, but what I don see is de Harry S. Truman airport,

Ah see a kina fatty woman livin in a smally smally lil house right in de middle a de road, de woman stannin up wid she hand out side de door beggin money from de car dem, an every onea dem stopping to ge she some, Ladee me boy, Oy ain nevah see noting like dat an look a joke, I ain even reach close to de states yet

 But de ting wha ah keean see is de terminal, de big ol hangah  place whey de steelban dem used to be bawlin blood for we cu dance an wuk up wid dem Puerto Rican Gurl when de come  fo Carnival! Ah hol ah man ana sae “Hey, wha goin an here meson, wha dey hidin’ de airport?” He sae  Abdoul Ab Salamm, Abdoul Ab Salamm..

De fatty woman sae, look ovah de hill man, look ovah de hill.

 Lemme tell yu something, all I wan tu du is gemme plane ticket tu go tu de states tu see dem boy an fine out if I wantu join up wid de fresh watah yankee dem, but not only doan nobody know how tu sell a plane ticket tu de states, but now dey gan an change up de name and move de airport. Yu sure dis is dey way every body does get tu de states? Lard if is so had tu go, imagin how hard it mus be tu come back, wha yu tink?

 Meson when ah finally reach dung, tu de place wha dey suppose tu be selling de ticket dem, ah sae “ah wan tu buy a plane ticket tu de states” de woman sae “Ok where are yu goin” Ah sae Oh lard don’t tell me dis is dat again, ah sae Ah wan tu go tu de states! Wha wrang wid alyu people, ah wan yu go tu de states!  Den de woman sae, ok which state. Now dis is  one Islan woman wha mussa had good states side training because das de fus time any body ask me dat question, ana wan yu know I were ready wid me ansah,

Ah sae ah wan tu go to de place wha name Miami Atlanta Florida New Yawk, because das whea alla dem boy is.

 She sae I’m sorry, that’s impossible, there is no such place. I sae Yu lie, Yu Lie, Yu big bum ting yu, ah catch yu now, yu lie, das whea alaldem boy gan, wha wrang wid allyu crazy people, Ah sae, gimme me plane ticket an don frig me up no mo o I’ll broke off me foot in yu Batey!!

 When she hear dat De woman eye dem open wide wide and she say “of course Mr. Buckra De Paehae, just one moment please, wait here, I know exactly who can help you. Ah sae now yu talking, dis is de way yu suppose tu treat a man who is all dress up an goin to de states.

Jus den two man hooks me up from behine, dey grab on tu de back a me pants an lif me up straight up in de air, me pants went up in me bum til ah had tu bawl out “Oh God Ah Dead, ah give up, ah give up! Den dey grab me han an me foot an thro me in de back like two hundred poun a wet sal fish.

All dis time all de touris dem laughing me  boy, ana hear one a de chrerenn dem sae “Mommy whats the matter with that man?” De muddah sae “Nothin dear that’s just what too much rum and hot sun’ll do to ya, an thats exactly what’ll happen to your blasted Father if we don’t get ‘im back to Baltimore right away”

 When De man dem thro me doun, de bigges one sae  “C’mon now Buckrat boy, let’s hear some more of your noisy big lip about what you’re gonna do wid yer foot, an who your gonna do it to”

Ah sae Oh God, Oh God ah give up, ah give up, ah change me moine sah, ah change me moine, I ain want tu go tu de states, ah change me moine, ah wan tu go home.

 Walll… De man sae “It’s too late fer that  Buckrat, ya crazy little weasel, you’re goin ta Guantanamo wid the rest a dem terrorists.

Ah sae “Oh Godee Oh Godee!, Ah give up Sah Ah Give up Sah!

Man, ah had tu beg dem, an beg dem, an beg dem boy tu loose me, an when de finally lemme getaway, Lord me boy, ah pick up me suitcase an Iain  stop runnin’ til ah pass Demarara.

 Wen ah catch meself, ah sae “Buckra, It look like yu bettah tell one a dem boy in de states tu sen doun a ticket fo yu, if dey wan yu come up tu play fresh watah yankee wid dem.

 An when dey sen doun me ticket, das how de Buckra finally get tu go tu de states,.. but das a whole uddah story meson, believe me..das a whole uddah story, Laa-dy, me bouy… whata trelele!