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Scott Fagan’s “A Christmas Present For Santa, The Story Of Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer”
“A Christmas Present For Santa, The Story Of Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer”
I wrote this originally for my little girl Twinkle, and all the other children in the warm weather places in the world, bcause there were no female Christmas Hero’s and because we always felt a little left out of the Santa Story where Christmas comes in on a gentle breeze, but most importantly, because Sandy’s story needed to be told and of course, every word of it is true.
I hope that you and your sweethearts lives will be filled with smiles and smooches now and forever. Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Chanukah, Love Filled Kwanza, and The Best New Year Ever. All my Love, Scott
Here is The Complete Script, Story and Lyrics, if you would like to read and or sing along.
All Rights Reserved.Scott Fagan Music ASCAP St. Thomas, Virgin Islands scottfagan@lilfishrecords.com
SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER
Synopsis
A Warm and humorous musical story about a little female reindeer sent to the North pole as a Christmas present for Santa, one Christmas eve a time ago, by the Girls and Boys in the home for almost forgotten children some where in the tropical Islands…
Sandy has been sent to Santa to help him with his warm weather routes, but she will have an awful lot of shiverin’ and shakin’ to do and an awful lot of wondering where she fits in, before anyone discovers the purpose and true value of this extraordinary Christmas present for Santa.
In the end, Sandy leads for Santa when it’s time to go any where around the world that it doesn’t snow, and becomes the perennial favorite of (and there’s an awful lot of) places in the world where all the Christmas’s are hot!
SANDY THE BLUE NOSED REINDEER
The Songs:
1. THEME Sandy the Blue Nosed Reindeer
2. A Christmas Present for Santa
3. Sometimes Somethings
4. Lefty Righty
5. Toys toys toys
6. Island in the Rainbows
7. Sing a Happy Song
8. THEME (Reprise) Sandy The Bluenosed Reindeer
9. Merry Christmas All Over The World
SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER
Act One
SONG # 1 SANDY THE BLUENOSED REINDEER
CHORUS: And now they’ve made a place for her…
in Reindeer history too…
We’ve all heard of Rudolph, who’s nose was shiny bright
and how he guided Santa’s sleigh through the foggy night
But there’s a little Reindeer who’s nose is icy blue
and now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too.
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.
Then one night it happened down in Port of Spain
the other Reindeer got so hot they started to complain
“Let me help you Santa” her voice was sure and strong
and that’s how Sandy found her way into a Christmas song
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.
Now Sandy leads for Santa, when it’s time to go
Any where around the world that it doesn’t snow
The Boys and Girls all love her y’know. there’s an awful lot
of places in the world where all the Christmas’s are hot
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who’d believe a Reindeer who’s nose was icy blue
but now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too…
.
NARRATOR: Now you’ve asked me to tell you the story of Sandy the Bluenosed Reindeer
and I will …But I’m thinking.. you could also call this story “A Christmas Present for Santa”
Cause she was sent to Santa one Christmas a time ago, by the Girls and Boys in the home for almost forgotten Children, Somewhere in the Tropical Islands.
SONG #2 “A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR SANTA”
GIRLS AND BOYS: (Alternating lines)
All Because we’ve heard it’s better to give than to receive
Girls Because you never ask for much , except that we believe
All Because you’re such a good soul, and Jolly Jolly too
Girls Because we think that you love us as much as we love you
Boys Because you’re always giving and never never take
All except sometimes a little milk some cookies or some cake
Girls Because she’s so so special,
Boys because it’s Christmas eve
All Because a million times because, Merry Christmas Santa Claus
Girls Up in the sky with his flying Reindeer
Boys Going loop de loop like he doesn’t know fear
Girls Who is the man made of so much fun
Boys He’s willing to share his joy with everyone
UNISON:
Santa it’s you so we thought we would
Send you a present cause you’ve been so good
Kindly and gentle and dear old man, We know you’ll understand
COUNTERPOINT SECTION:
Boys Because we’ve heard it’s better. to give than to receive
Girls Who do we don’t see to say thank you to
Boys Because you never ask for much , except that we believe
Girls Who’s like a dream in a dream that comes true
Boys Because you’re such a good soul, and Jolly Jolly too
Girls Racing the sun to a million places
Boys Because we think that you love us as much as we love you
Girls In every one leaving smiling faces
Boys Because you’re always giving and never never take
Girls Driving a sleigh that no jet is faster
Boys except sometimes a little milk some cookies or some cake
Girls First to get through natural disaster
Boys Because she’s so so special, because it’s Christmas eve
Girls Braving the coldest and hottest weather
Boys Because a million times because, Merry Christmas Santa Claus
Girls Who tries to keep the whole thing together
UNISON:
We’ve sent a Reindeer who’s nose is blue
because we believe she’ll be a help to you
Kindly and gentle and dear old man
we know you’ll understand.
Because a Million times because…
Merry Christmas Santa Clause
NARRATOR: I can just see that old airmail Pelican flying along with his little bundle, wriggling and rolling over to her tummy, foots sticking out front and back, kicking and learning to fly. Foots up, foots down, foots up, foots down, just like you do when you’re learning to swing in the beginning. Foots up, foots down, foots up, can you see her? She’s doing fine… flying along nice and easy and the warm sun shining down on her such a rich chocolate-brown. Shining down on those coconut trees and those sweet green Islands in the beautiful blue sea, just the color of Sandy’s nose.
Like I said I don’t know exactly where they were coming from, but they were going along in the warm for quite some while, and that little Reindeer was kicking foots as strong and as smooth as could be maybe even giving that old Pelican Pilot a rest now and then. Foots up, foots down, foots up.
CHORUS: Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze, Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees
NARRATOR: Y’know, It’s a big and a wide wide world that we live in, and after a time that little Reindeer curled up in her little bundle and took a nap. Just like you little critters do. Maybe she knew where she was going and dreamed a dream or maybe not. I don’t know, but I do know she didn’t know it was going to be cold where she was going, and I do know she didn’t know it would be dark, and that’s just what it was, when she woke up it was cold and dark and she was scared too! Now there’s those Northern lights up there and they light up the sky kind of like a cosmic rainbow so it wasn’t too dark but there’s no electric heaters in the snow
CHORUS: (Comes up under NARRATOR)
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
NARRATOR: (Continues)
and no radiators around the North Pole, so it was cold
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer
and she was shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees
Didn’t like the cold
and if her nose was Blue before,
Who believes in Reindeer
boy, you shoulda’ seen it now
Who’s little noses freeze
That’s just how the other Reindeer first saw her
Shivering and shaking
Standing in the snow, shivering and shaking and knocking like a clock
and knocking at the knees
Her nose was the color of a blueberry popsicle.
DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN:
Jumping Jet planes!!
NARRATOR: They said.
COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN:
Look at this one, we don’t believe it.
DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN:
This looks like a job for Santa!
CHORUS:
Who believes in Reindeer, who’s little noses freeze,
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees
NARRATOR: So BLITZEN zoomed over to Santa’s house and got him!
SANTA: Jumping jet planes!
NARRATOR: Said Santa.
MIZ CLAUS: Oh Santa!
NARRATOR: Said Miz CLAUS
SANTA: I don’t remember asking for a Bluenosed Reindeer
NARRATOR: Said Santa
SANTA: I’ve never even heard of a Bluenosed Reindeer
DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN:We’ve never heard of a Bluenosed Reindeer either
NARRATOR: Said the other Reindeer
SANTA: Who ever heard of a Bluenosed Reindeer?
DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: We all know the Red nosed one
SANTA: But a Blue nosed one?
DASHER AND DANCER, DONNER AND BLITZEN, COMET AND CUPID AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: No!
MIZ CLAUS: Never!
SANTA, MIZ CLAUS AND THE REINDEER: None!
SANDY: (In a trembly little voice) My name is SANDY, an.. I’m Cold!
NARRATOR: Said the mizzable little critter
SANTA: Swooping satellites!
NARRATOR: Said Santa
SANTA: Who ever heard of a Reindeer that didn’t like the cold? I didn’t ask for a Reindeer that didn’t like the cold…
MIZ CLAUS: Santa , she’s cold
NARRATOR: Said Miz Claus
MIZ CLAUS: And her little nose is Blue, she’s shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees. What are we gonna’ do?
SANTA: Let’s take her in the house!
NARRATOR: Said Santa Claus
MIZ CLAUS: Poor little shivery shaking Bluenosed thing…
NARRATOR: Said Miz Claus.
CHORUS: (In background) Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
DASHER AND DASHER AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: Did you see that?
CHORUS: Cause who’d believe a Reindeer
NARRATOR : Said DASHER AND DASHER AND PRANCER AND VIXEN
CHORUS: Didn’t like the cold
COMET AND CUPID AND DONNER AND BLITZEN: Santa didn’t ask for a Bluenosed Reindeer that doesn’t like the cold!
CHORUS: Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
COMET AND CUPID AND DONNER AND BLITZEN: We wanted some rocket packs!
NARRATOR : Said COMET AND CUPID AND DONNER AND BLITZEN
CHORUS: Shivering and shaking
DASHER AND DASHER AND PRANCER AND VIXEN: Say, where’d she come from anyway.
CHORUS: and knocking at the knees
NARRATOR : So Santa and his Reindeer got something that Christmas they hadn’t asked for, maybe didn’t really want, and sure didn’t think they’d ever need. That’s how it is sometimes, we don’t get what we want but we do get what we need, and don’t even know it. It happens to me ,
I’ll bet it happens to you too… sometimes.
SONG #3 SOMETIMES SOMETHINGS
Sometimes something happens in a funny way
something we think shouldn’t happen anyway
Sometimes something happens that we didn’t plan
Something sometimes that we barely understand
Sometimes it won’t help something to try and guess
Somethings we know sometimes happen for the best.
Sometimes something hides the sun and clouds the sky
Something passing as we let sometime go by
Sometimes something disappoints us bringing pain
Rainbows wouldn’t happen if it didn’t rain
Sometimes something happens to us we forget
Something sometimes we don’t know the good part yet.
NARRATOR: Now remember it was Christmas Eve, and Santa and Miz Claus and all of Santa’s reindeer and helpers and all of Santa’s friends, had quite a bit to do…
SONG # 4 LEFTY RIGHTY BLACKIE AND WHITEY
SANTA: Lefty Righty Blackie and Whitey
ELVES: Working together with Santa Clause
SANTA: Brownie Yellow Shorty and Longfellow
ELVES: Working together well just because
SANTA: They want to show it can be done
SANTA AND ELVES: Working together’s lots of fun
ELVES: Lefty Righty Blackie and Whitey
SANTA: If little elves can do it so can we
ELVES: Brownie Yellow Shorty and Longfellow
SANTA AND ELVES: Everybody’s one big family
SONG # 5 TOYS TOYS TOYS (Sung by Santa’s Elves)
Toys toys toys toys – toys toys toys toys
Every one loves toys toys toys
Way up here in Santa’s shop, when we start we never stop
Cause every toy’s a thing of joy and every body wants a toy
Arche wants an aeroplane, Billy wants a ‘’lectric train
Carrie wants more Star Wars stuff, Children just can’t get enough
Toys toys toys toys, Every one loves toys toys toys
Drucie wants a doll that walks, Ellie wants a doll that talks
Frankie wants a baseball bat, Sister Gale a football hat
Holly wants a new doll house, Izzy wants a rubber mouse
Jamesy wants a teddy bear, Katie wants a game that’s fair!
Imagine a world without toys, An awf-’ly boring place
not much fun for girls and boys
But don’t be sad cause it’s ok There’s something we could do about it
everybody sing and shout it! Toys..
LITTLEST ELF: (Just learning his manners yells to the others) Hey! Shouting’s not polite
dont’cha know that?
SANTA: Hmm… Ok then every body sing! Toys toys toys toys, all we want is toys toys toys.
Way up here in Santa’s shop, when we start we never stop
Cause every toy’s a thing of joy and every body wants a toy
Lele wants a two wheel trike, Maggie wants a three wheel bike
Nattie wants and ice cream truck, Orvil wants an Easter duck
Poonah wants a boxing glove Queenie wants a fish to love Roscoe wants a jumping rope, Sarah wants a microscope
Tito wants a frog that sings, Uta wants a magic ring
Virgil wants an oogie board, Wanda wants a pirate sword
Xosa wants a kite that hums, Yone wants a kettle drum
Ziggy wants a cash machine, a racehorse and a Limousine
SANTA: (Looking perplexed) A cash machine? a racehorse? a Limousine?
ElVES : Toys toys toys toys – toys toys toys toys
Every one loves toys toys toys!
NARRATOR: Now once Santa had wrapped his wonderful warm arms around her,
Sandy wouldn’t let him put her down for anything. So Santa had to
check all his lists, get his Reindeer reined,
Pack up his sleigh, thank all his helpers,
give Miz Clause her see you later kiss and take off.. With a baby bluenosed Reindeer in his arms.
Then he had to, drive his sleigh, carry his bag
climb down chimneys, fill stockings, sort and set out presents,
eat his cookies, sip his cocoa and get back up chimneys with a baby bluenosed Reindeer in his arms. If you saw Santa that Christmas you know that one Christmas a time ago, he had a baby bluenosed Reindeer in his arm when he came to your house.
CHORUS: (In background) Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer… didn’t like the cold
NARRATOR: As time passed. nobody knew what in the world Sandy was doing up at Santa’s workshop. She wanted to be wanted but what good could she really do? Shiverin’ and shakin’ and knocking little Elves off of shelves and all, wherd’d she fit in? It looked like every thing she did was wrong.
SONG # 6 ISLAND IN THE RAINBOWS
SANDY:
There’s a place that I know
that I sure wish I could go
Far away, it’s an Island in the Rainbows
Somewhere far across the sea
I can hear it calling me
But I can”t go it’s an Island in the Rainbow
Rainbow days… far away,
Green and Gold and Purple too
Rosy Red, Yellow and Blue
SANTA: How I wish that I knew it were true
SANDY AND SANTA: Maybe someday you and me
we could fly across the sea
see if there could be
an Island in the Rainbows
SANDY: Rainbow days… far away,
Green and Gold and Purple too
Rosy Red, Yellow and Blue
I wish I could show it to you
SANDY AND SANTA: Maybe someday you and me
we could fly across the sea
see if there could be
an Island in the Rainbows…
NARRATOR: She sure was feeling bad , but Santa and his crew knew exactly what to do!
SONG #7 SING A HAPPY SONG
I’ve got a secret that I’ll share with you
because it’s something that we all can do
when I’ve got troubles and my world is blue
I just sing a happy song.
Sing a happy song, then things won’t seem so wrong
sing a happy song
Sing a happy song, the world will sing along sing
a happy song
Great grand father’s bedroom drapes were drawn,
we thought for sure the dear old boy was gone,
but just as Grandma sighed “Poor Grandpa’s died
he cried… Sing a happy song!
SANTA: All together now!
Sing a happy song, one I can sing along
sing a happy song
Sing a happy song,then things won’t seem so wrong
sing a happy song
( INSTRUMENTAL DANCE SECTION (Everyone))
SANTA: And a one and a two and a three.Everybody
Sing a happy song, then things won’t seem so wrong
sing a happy song
Sing a happy song, the world will sing along
sing a happy song…
NARRATOR: By the next year Sandy’d gotten too big to carry all the time just like you have, but she still went everywhere that Santa did, so naturally she jumped shiverin’ and shakin’ right into Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve and off they went, and the further south they went the less and less she shivered, and the more warm it became the less and less she shook, and by the time they got to Port of Spain, Trinidad, in the West Indies , it was hot!
DASHER, DANCER PRANCER AND VIXEN: SHEEEESHHH!
NARRATOR: Said DASHER, DANCER PRANCER AND VIXEN.
COMET, CUPID, DONNER AND BLITZEN: We’re worn out, we can’t go another step!
NARRATOR: Said COMET, CUPID, DONNER AND BLITZEN.
SANDY: (With Chorus) Let me help you Santa.
NARRATOR: (With Chorus) Her voice was sure and strong
SANTA: Jumping Jet planes!
NARRATOR: Said Santa
SANTA: Now I know where you belong!
NARRATOR WITH OS CHORUS:
Now Sandy leads for Santa when it’s time to go
any where around the world that it doesn’t snow
NARRATOR: (With CHORUS under) And the other Reindeer love her cause
there’s an awful lot of Reindeer that get tired when the goings gotten hot!
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Sandy is the Reindeer whose story’s never told
NARRATOR: Y’know sometimes if we have a hard time when we’re little
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
NARRATOR: It helps us to understand when others are having a hard time too, and then
maybe we can help them
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Who believes in Reindeer
NARRATOR: That’s how Sandy is,
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) who’s little noses freeze.
NARRATOR: She knows how it feels to be cold and scared and lonely
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) shiverin’ and shakin’ and knocking at the knees
NARRATOR: and it makes her feel real good to help Santa bring happiness and joy
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Sandy is the Reindeer
NARRATOR: to girls and boys all around the world
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) who’s story’s never told
NARRATOR: big girls and boys too!
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Cause who’d believe a reindeer
NARRATOR: Santa doesn’t forget us just because we grow up you know.
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) didn’t like the cold
NARRATOR: So Sandy turned out to be
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) Who’d believe a Reindeer
NARRATOR: a wonderful Christmas present for Santa ,
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) who’s nose was icy Blue
NARRATOR: he didn’t know he wanted, NARRATOR:but he’s really glad he got
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) But now they’ve made a place for her
NARRATOR: Sandy the Bluenosed reindeer
CHORUS: (Under NARRATOR) In Reindeer….
NARRATOR: who’s happy when it’s hot!
CHORUS: (Up for big ending) history too…….
NARRATOR: I wonder how they knew Santa needed a Bluenosed Reindeer anyway…
SONG #8 REPRISE (repeat) THEME: SANDY THE BLUE NOSED REINDEER
We’ve all heard of Rudolph, who’s nose was shiny bright
and how he guided Santa’s sleigh through the foggy night
But there’s a little Reindeer who’s nose is icy blue
and now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too.
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.
Then one night it happened down in Port of Spain
the other Reindeer got so hot they started to complain
“Let me help you Santa” her voice was sure and strong
and that’s how Sandy found her way into a Christmas song
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who believes in Reindeer who’s little noses freeze
Shivering and shaking and knocking at the knees.
Now Sandy leads for Santa, when it’s time to go
Any where around the world that it doesn’t snow
The Boys and Girls all love her y’know. there’s an awful lot
of places in the world where all the Christmas’s are hot
Sandy is the Reindeer who’s story’s never told
Cause who’d believe a Reindeer didn’t like the cold
Who’d believe a Reindeer who’s nose was icy blue
but now they’ve made a place for her in Reindeer history too…
Song # 9 MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL OVER THE WORLD
Merry Christmas all over the world
(Christmas time Christmas Time)
Yes it’s Christmas all over the world
North and South (night so different from the rest)
East and west (special night we love the best)
CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN: Gladelig Jul, Feliz Navidad, Joy-ah Noel
CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN:Sheng tang qui-lo, Bon Natale, Jeradvum Kristnovum
CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world
SPOKEN: In every corner of the Earth, Man celebrates a child’s birth
CHORUS: Christmas time, Christmas time
SPOKEN: and sings the heart of human kind, and shines the light of love divine
CHORUS: Yes it’s Christmas all over the world
SPOKEN: That the children who are the children who were and the children who will be
CHORUS: Christmas time, Christmas time
SPOKEN: Forever have in memory this magical miracle night so good that is peace and love and brother hood
CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world
Christmas time, Christmas time
Yes it’s Christmas all over the world
Every where the soft wind blows, every where that Jack Frost goes
CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN: Fraulacht Wil-nachten, Bly-gee Kirstdagen, Meli Kalekemaka
CHORUS: Ahh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh – ahhh
SPOKEN: Hari Natal, Gaha Christnasto, Tanoshee Karitsumasi
CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world
SPOKEN: Faraha Malingi Karitmasi
CHORUS: Merry Christmas all over the world…
SPOKEN: Mara-id al-mi-lad, Alice Changa mi lad ha note sri..
SPOKEN: (All) Merry Christmas…We love you Santa!
The End…
If you are interested, you will find individual downloadable MP3′s for the individual songs, at http://www.lilfishrecords.com
Terrific New Scott Fagan/South Atlantic Blues Article, from London.
Here is a terrific new article (written by Hugh Dellar) from Shindig Magazine in London, about my first album “South Atlantic Blues”. South Altantic Blues, released in 1968 was/is very much about the life that we shared in Charlotte Amalia. How wonderful that people are still discovering, listening, and being moved. The album “South Atlantic Blues” has since been re-released by “Saint Catherine Knows” records, and hailed as a “Masterpiece”. CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW FOR THE ARTICLE.
Here is a link to the album.
http://www.scottfagan.com
“When Buckra De Paehae Went Tu Go Tu De Stats”
A familiar setting!! It’s My Birthday..Birthday present to YOU!!
The “Buckra De Paehae” CD Cover
“When Buckra De Paehae Went Tu Go Tu De Stats”
Here’s one for Bite Size and the “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” Group.
From the Live Album “SHAKE A BUM” by Scott Fagan And The MAAC Island Band lilfish records, St. Thomas Virgin Islands
In Honor Of Bastille Day! “Granfaddah Buckra An De Bo’Hog’
My Great Great Grand Father was a sailor from Marseilles, who ran off with an Irish Novice Nun from her Convent in New Orleans. They wound up in Hell’s Kitchen, NYC, and had eight children together. This is in honor of Bastille Day and all our French Brothers and Sisters. I hope that you enjoy it!
GRAN FADDAH BUCKRA AN DE BO’ HOG
Scott Fagan 9/30-10/2 2010
Well… now it happen so dat Gran Faddah Buckra had de biggest, de schupides, de ugliest, de stinkis, de noisiest and de nastyiest Bo Hog anybody had evah seen..
de Buckra liked to call him King George, and he loved dat Bo Hog like a Bruddah
One day de neighbor dem come sae…,
“Buckra, you know Black people is good people, an de don mine if yu wan tu live wid dem an roun dem an side a dem oh undah neet a dem oh on top a dem or all in de middle an in between a dem excepin’ when dat big stinkin ugly’ bo’ hog of yours own “dat yu likes tu call King George”, du knock doun he pig pen “dat yu likes tu call he Castle of King George” an wha yu set up right in de middle a de yad, dat yu likes tu call “de Kingdom of King George” when dat Bo’ hog come rootin up in every body business all ovah de yad, an throwin’ doun de cloths line wid all de chirren dem clean clothes on it, an rootin’ up an rollin up in all de woman dem clean panty, rootin up and rollng ovah doung in de dutty mud an stinkin’ up de place an oinkin up de place an squealin up de place like de las pig outta hell an wakin’ up all de people dem in de yad which of late has happen almos every single night a de week an twice on Sunday,
An Buckra, like we say, yu n kno black people is good people an we don mine, but Buckra OH God Buckra,.we tink is time you should go live among yu own kine”..
Me own kine? sae de Buckra, me own kine? Wha kina kine yu tink is me own kine?
De boldest of de Neighbah dem sae “we have contemplated and conclude you should go live doun in Cha Cha tuun”,
“Cha Cha toun? Say de Buckra, Cha Cha Toun?”
Yes sah Buckra we have decided that you should go live wid de res a dem Cha Cha doun in Cha Cha toun”
“Yu tink oy is a Cha cha? Yu tink oy is a Cha Cha?
Yu loy,! Yu don kno I is a white man?
I ain no Cha Cha, yu Muddah is a Cha Cha!”
No no! de uddah Neighbah say, no no not a Cha Cha, St. Thomas ain ga no Cha Cha no more, We doesn use that expression no more, she mean tu sae you should go live wid de res a dem doun Carenage..ers doun in Carenage..
Carenage? Carenage? Who yu callin a Carenage? yu Muddah is aa Carenage!
No No Mistah Buckra, das de Frenchie dem way tu say French Toun,
French Toun? French Toun? Yu tink I should go live in French Toun?
Yes sah Mistah Buckra, Everybody in de yad say yu is a Balahoo..
Das why yu should go livewid de res a de balahoo dem doun in Cha Cha, ah mean French ah mean Carenage Toun!
Anuddah neibah pipe in
“Yes man yu keeian see how it is?
Guana should live wid Guana,
Mongoose should live wid Mongoose,
Guava don grow onna Cenepe Tree and yu shluld be wid de res a de Frenchie, Doun in Frenchie Toun”
De Buckra hot now, he say Guana? Guana? Who yu callin a Guana? Yu muddah is a Guana!
Not a Guana, de neighbah sae, not a Guana, yu is a Frenchie.
“Oy? Oy? You schupid oh sumting? Yu damn forward AN schupiddy Oy ain no Frenchie, Oy Is a white man yu talking to… Any body cou see I is a white man,.. wha wrang wid yu, anybody cou see Buckra De Paehae is a white man!”
Buckra, (say de very darkest a de neighbah dem) Buckra, If you is a white man I is a Frenchie, if yu is a white man, why we don hear yu Yankin, Buckra, why we don hear yu yankin?”
“Yankin? Yankin? Sae de Buckra, yu want tu hear me Yankin?”
“Ok den.
AYHMM COME FRUM ALABAMA
WID A BANJO ON MAH KNEE, BUT NOW AH MMM JES A SAILOR IN THE U.S NAYVEE”
“Yu see wha ah tell yu? Yu see wha ah tell yu? De neighbah sae, he ain no white man, he ain no white man. He keeian yank! Bou he is a white man, a white man wha keeian Yank? Yu evah see a white man wha keeian yank? De Buckra ain no white man, he is nuttin’ but a mushay! Ah say Sen im doun French Town!
Oh yeah say de Buckra, Oh Yeah? Ok, den.. “AH KIN SEE AHMM A GONNA HALF TA TALKREAL SERIOUS TU YAALLS SO YALL’S GONNA KNOW DAT YU IS TALKIN’ WID A BIG TIME AN IMPORTANT WHITE MAN WHEN YU IS DEALING WID DE BUCKRA.
NAH AHM A GONNA TELL YA SUNPIN, AH DON’T LIKE DE WAY SOMEFOLKS IS BEEN HARASSIN’ AN HOG TIEIN’ MY GOOD KING GEORGE THE PO’K SWINE WID YER CLOTHLINES EVERY NIGHT AN AHMM A GITTIN’ TIURD AH TELLIN YA SO,
BUT JUS SOS, DERES NO HARD FEELINS,AN DISDON’T BECOME SOME KINA FUGE, AH RECKON AHMM A GONNA PACK UP MAH SADDLEBAGS AN TAKE MA HERD, AH MEAN MA BO’HOAWAWG, AN MOSEY ON DOUN WEST.
Yes Yes, Buckra de neighbah dem say, yes yes das de bes ting Buckra, mosey on doun west to Cha Cha toun…
An Me Boy, das when de REAL trouble start!
Buckra and de Bo’ Hog went straight doun to French Town an walk right in to de famous Normandy Bah, it wa round 11 a clock in de mawnin so naturally de place wa almos full. Half a de man dem wa teachin’ high school and mos a de legislatue was doun dare tu get a good head start on de day. Plus a few Sailah Man…
Now de Bucvkra had done make up he mine dat he ain talking no mo Island talk, because he ain wan nobody to make no mo mistake bou de fac dat is a white man through an through, from den on he Yankin straight,
Well… maybe a white man wid a lil someting else throw in in dare but all de same de Buckra say he Yankin’ straight.
“WAL MA GOOD FRENCHIE FELLOW” he say to de lil bahman “ LEMME HAVE DE BES RED SODA DAT YOU GOT IN DE PLACE AN PLUS AH WANTS TU RENT A LIL HOUSE FROM Y’ALL DOUN IN DIS HEAH FRENCH TOWN”
Dat time a man name Magras, sae “
“Hey hey wait meson wait, Wha yu tink yu goin wid dat Bo hog?”Dis is de Narmandy Bah, only de bes a people cu come in in side a heah an we don deal wid no Bo Hag doun French Toun , We is fishah man doug here, RIDERS ON THE SEA! You in de wrang place me boy, yu bettah go Nart side whea yu cou join up wid de res a dem RIDERS ON A DONKEY, an fuddah mo you ain no Frenchie! You mubbee som kina doublebreed Daneman an Putto Rician from Sain Croix!
All dis time three or fo drunken Sailah done feed King George de Bo Hog mo dan a quart a rum and coke chase down wid bou five or six cold schafah beer me boy, and de Bo Hog feelin’ it now.
“OINK! OINK! SQUEEE! SQUEEE! OINK! OINK! SQUEEE! SQUEEE! Say de Bo Hag.
Den he take off trunning roung and roung in de Normandy Bah, tunnin up and knockin doun table a chair, lef and right, all ovah de place, dis time he change he tune he bawling out “ (SQUEEYAW SQUEEYAW OINK OINK! SQUEEYAW! SQUEEYAW! De nex ting yu know de Bo Hag stop an start tu swing and sawy. He open he eye dem wide wide and den… he vomit up a Green an Yellow tidal wave of de wus stinkin frat full a ole drawers and panty yu evah see.
De sailah dem killing dey self wid de laugh, but de Frenchie dem don tink it’s so funny ah tall.
Well me boy, Buckra an de Bo Hag had tu haul dey “humpf” outta French Town man dey two a dem run straight an all de way up Demarara Gut through mo jackspania and catchankee… dem boy ain stop til de reach de very top a Crown an some ways doun de uddah side.
An dats how Buckra and de Bo Hag fus arrive in Nelteburg.
But befo yu know it dat Bo Hog King George wa makin trouble an terrorizing de poor people dem out dare, rooting up in de peppah patch and knockin doun de cloths line.. well until he disappeared one day.
Some people say King George de Bo’ Hog decided tu go St. John an is de Faddah and de Gran Faddah of mos a de wus a de wile pig an even some a de wile donkey dem harassin de people dem up dare in St. John,
Som uddah people say dem Nart side French man finally get tu hol de Bo’ hog,, an had de biggis roas pig of all time, evah dat Bastille Day doun Hull bay,
But mos of all a taxi man say he know fo a fac dat dem boy from the de Agricultural Station out Dorithia catch King George an dress him up like a touris an put him onna touris boat, an nobody didn’t notice de difference between he an de res a dem til’ dey reach back Florida me boy.
I don kno about dat, but de pert I tell yu, is wha happen an das de trut de whole trut an nuttin but de trut… So help me Miss Gearty!
“The Man Who Swam To St. John” (Emancipation Day!)
The Man Who Swam To St. John (Emancipation Day)
By Scott Fagan
In 1985 Shaky Acres (the recovery program that Tuts and I had started in 1981) was going along fairly well, but was in need of a fund-raiser or two. Tuts heard (along with everyone else) of a proposed St. John swim (everybody heard of it because it was considered impossible by most folks, and suicidally dangerous by local folks who knew that there were sharks, starvin’ hungry sharks, out there the size of the battleship “Bismarck”). The UDT (The Frogmen, The Navy Seals, The toughest hombres on or under the sea) while training for many years in St. Thomas, had given up on swimming to St. John because it was simply too crazy and dangerous a deed.
The well-intentioned local lady legislator who had proposed “the swim” was unaware of the deep and dark difficulties inherent in the “big fun fundraiser”
When Tutsie was a young boy, riding back across Sir Francis Drake’s Passage coming home with his Mother from a harvest festival in Cane Garden bay in Tortola, he looked out from the deck of “The Joan Of Arc” or “The Bomba Charger” at Pillsbury Sound (The five-mile stretch of wild water that separates St. Thomas and St. John) he said to her “I cou’ swim ‘crass dat yu kno” His usually gentle and loving mother, scared to death by what she was hearing, tried to discourage this crazy idea once and for all by replying “Man hush up yu schupid mout, why yu like tu talk such schupid craziness?” Tuts didn’t see any reason to discuss it any further, but, he says, the conviction that he could do it, was locked in his mind for ever after.
It was July the third, 1985, Emancipation Day in The Virgin Islands. (Emancipation Day is the day in 1849, on which it became official that the slaves in the Danish West Indies had won their freedom and were now and forever more free) Freedom was a long time coming for the children of Africa in the DWI, and very hard-won, as was Tut’s own personal freedom from drugs and alcohol.
There were forty eight entrants all together, most of them young white kids from the hot-shot St. Croix “Dolphins Swim Team”, they came prepared and ready to succeed, with sleek buoyant body suits, well fitted goggles and the best fins that money could buy
A number of the St. Thomas swimmers, were runners down from the states, budding tri-athletes, an elderly white gent determined to show his wife he still “had it” and half a hand full of locals with a mismatched assortment of masks and fins..
Tuts on the other hand was wearing one pair of big and baggy boxer trunks, y nada mas…
As the other swimmers did warm ups and calisthenics on the sand at Vessup bay, Red Hook, a tough old Tortola sailor, pulled Tuts aside and said” Buaayyy yu, yu crazy buaay? Yuh following de damn schupid white people dem? Yuh don kno de real name fo red hook is shak waff? Buaayy!! Shak ow de biggah den uh submarine! Yu is a black man gon follow dem schupidy white people? Buaayy wha rang wid yuh, yuh crazy o something?”
Tuts concedes that the strongly delivered warning did cause him much concern, but that he had already told everybody over and again that he was going to do it, told them in the strongest terms, in the face of the harshest ridicule. It was common knowledge that no (sane) black person from the Islands could ever, should ever and would ever attempt to make that swim. Therefore, as his sanity was in question, it was also a crucial moment for recovery in the Islands.
At this moment he was demonstrating clearly (to local folks) that local people who went to fellowship meetings “wid de crazy white people dem” were demonstrably nuts (just like they thought) and for him to chicken out before he even hit the water would have sealed it once and for all. Tuts has since confessed that on that particular morning he had decided that he would rather be eaten alive, than quit.
Once the old Tortola man realized that he was not talking to a sensible gentleman of color, he began to encourage him with information about what to expect in terms of currents and where to find what he called “soft spots” in the sea. He stated flatly that “yuh can’t swim directly East ta St. John, yuh have tu swim for “Loango” (Loango Key, a small Island West North West of St. John) and as yuh hold Loango as your goal, the current will be sweepin’ yuh south, look sharp! Buaay, dat is de onliest way to get dare”.
As the swim began, the fast and the fancy took off due East for Cruz bay and before you knew it half of them had been swept away and were heading backwards around Cabrita Point towards Big and Little St. James, then out over the Anegada Trench, (The deepest trench in the Caribbean, on the bottom of which the scariest bug eyed things on earth, with jumping, wiggling electro “bait worms” dangling in front of foot long razor teeth, swim around four miles down, snapping steel trap jaws, and saying fish prayers, to get their dribbly lips around something, anything, soaked and slathered in coconut oil, or greasy mango scented sun tan lotion) and then south and west for St Croix, Puerto Rico, Santo Domingo, Haiti, The Caymans, The Isle of Pines Cuba, and New Orleans. (of course by the time they got to New Orleans there would be nothing left of them but a Speedo tag and whatever plastics they’d swallowed along the way) needless to say, an armada of rescue boats started pulling people in over the gunnels, like langustas on parade, on a fish pot Saturday night.
Tuts was heading for Loango .
Shortly after the fast and the fancy fiasco, the old white gent’s wife, standing in his rescue boat started screaming hysterically “A Shark! A Shark! Oh my God, I see a Shark!” Pull my husband out, pull my husband out, pull him out right now!! Oh my GOD! Pull my husband out right now!
Tuts says the poor old gent was utterly dejected as they pulled him up, his bathing suit drooping below his pale old, pink old, shiny old hiney.
Next went the dapper sharply outfitted “high color” attorney from the states, who had looked most disdainfully upon our man’s baggy boxers and boney bare feet but was now being dragged, thoroughly defeated, flat on his back from the sea to flat on his back on the bottom of the heaving boat.
The boats were heaving now because the seas were heaving now, they were coming into “The Big Blue”. A section of the sound a mile or more wide, in which, or perhaps I ought to say, through which, big serioso, fast moving, megalo mountains of Big Blue Heavy Water Waves (Waves of the sort that make you say “Good Lord” or “Mama Mia” or “Holy Freakin’ Toledo” when you first see them even though you (if you have good sense) are looking at them from your perch on the deck of a big passenger ferry, ten or fifteen feet above the water line.
If you are in the water “down in the hollow” splashing along on your belly and craning your neck up trying to see the top of the wave, you will probably say a lot more than good lord, and if you are Tutsie and your rescue boat is manned by one “Fisherman John” a continental dipso juicehead, that you recently helped to drag off the junk heap of life, but now haven’t seen for over half an hour, most of it will not be printable in a general audience mem.wha? such as this one. But you can believe me when I say, you have probably never heard anything like it.
Eventually, Tuts discovered that if he swam like crazy faster and faster as he got closer and closer to the top and he could then flip over to his back at just the last second the wave would crest and the curl would break over his shoulders. He could “hang there” for seconds, (perhaps one or two of the longest this side of eternity,) and contemplate his mounting misery and helplessness before having to roll over and slide headfirst down down down, ah..down down down, ah down down down, down. (Knowing that some thing is surely waiting in the “trough” to open its porky yaw and scrape the heck out of your back, belly and sides as it swallows you whole)
As I may have mentioned casually a short while ago, this section of the sound was just a splash over a mile or more wide, can you guess how many times your whole life can flash before your eyes before you get completely bored with it?
What you don’t get bored with is the fact that you cannot see either Island or for that matter any thing at all when you are down in the valley, nothing but deep dark blue. So the desperate hope that you might be able to see something, anything, hinting at where you are, (is it Puerto Rico? Is it Berlin?) at the top of the next wave is a powerful draw, and can keep you going for many a repetition.
One time he did see some thing recognizable back on St.Thomas, it was the two super poles that mark the spot where the undersea cable goes down beneath the sea. way down to the bottom, that’s the bottom way way down in the pitch black darkness beneath his own bottom. Better to see nothing he thought, than things as scary as that.
Pretty soon his primary concern had shifted from monstroso seas, to waves slapping him in the face, slap slap slap slap and he realized that he was in a different kind of swim now, the big blue was behind him, and he was battling offshore currents, lucky he had gone for Loango, because now, in spite of his forward motion he was being swept sideways, southward towards “Stephens Key”, a small flat island outside of the Bay of Cruz Bay or Cruz Bay Bay, comprende?
Tuts knew that if he allowed himself to be swept southward beyond Stephens Key, he would be out in the Anegada Trench, and then as likely as not his rescuers would be the Venezuelan Navy. He determined that he had to get to and make it through the spiffy currents around Stephens Key
If the current was running in his favor it could be a breeze, he was exhausted, but just on the inside of Stephens Key was the outer entrance to Cruz Bay. He was almost, almost there.
Alas, the current was not in his favor (unless he wanted to turn around and “go with the flow” back to the “Cabrita express” and the afore-mentioned many points beyond) and this part of the swim took everything but the very best of him. The very best of him was all that kept him kicking; the current was so strong that the surface water was rippling backwards in protest. That’s when the “water under water” is moving too fast for the water “on the water” to keep up, so the surface ripples backwards in tiny little cascades of confusion, all of which seemed to be going right up his nose, and down his throat.
They say that the children of Africa can’t swim. My friend Tutsie has proved time and again, that that is a racist lie, or put another way, demonstrably untrue. Although it is true that Tutsie’s Mother, Miss Meu, born in Dominica, was one half Carib. And although the present effort of the Carib/Arawak Federation is to dispel the myth that they say King Charles of Spain used to promulgate and excuse the genocide of the indigenous Peoples of the Caribbean, specifically, that the Caribs were so wild and savage that they ate people, there is no question that the Caribs were and are among the toughest of the toughest human beings that have ever lived. So our man, three quarters African, One quarter Carib (with a smitter smatter of French and, British, both in the African part of the pie) is lying all but dead in the water, having just burst through the impassable current hole at Stephen’s Rock.
Tuts aka “El Toro” aka “Peperino” aka Skarpy aka “The Rabbi” (that’s another story) aka a hundred other desperado descriptors, is ready to give it up. If only he had the strength to raise his arm to signal surrender or the voice to beg to be dragged out of the sea, he would have done so. But just then the cheerful voice of Fisherman John came sing-songing across the water, “Make it look pretty Tuts! Make it look pretty! We’re almost there man!, Make it look pretty!!!.
Some day I’ll build a statue at Cabrita Point to Victor Antonius “Tutsie” “El Toro” Edwards, one portraying a skinny little mahogany or Brass hued dude in baggy boxers, tilting forward on one leg, the other angled up and out behind, with hands clasped (as in prayer) just above his head, Poised to dive into history.
Tuts became that day the first native Virgin Islander to EVER in all time, swim from St. Thomas to St. John.
It wasn’t pretty as he crawled and dragged himself ashore (water streaming from every orifice), and it wasn’t pretty as he collapsed on the sand, unable to stand for a full three minutes. But in his defense, he was forty freakin’ years old and working with a body that had been ravaged by drugs and alcohol.
The kids on the Dolphin swim team have much to be proud of, they did in their wetsuits, fins and organized swim formations, what the rough and tough UDT had given up on, they made the swim.
I know that where ever these kids are in the world, and where ever they will go, they will always remember that “once upon a time, when we were kids in the islands, my friends and me did the impossible together” they will also remember with awe and admiration “that skinny little fellow in the baggy boxer trunks” that did it alone and bare footed, and then, passed on the champagne and praise, because “that’s not why he was there”.
Tutsie made the swim because it was Emancipation Day, and he wanted to demonstrate and celebrate freedom, he wanted to demonstrate freedom from fear of the sea and the ignorant idea that “Black people can’t swim” He wanted to demonstrate that “recovery is macho” and that black people now need to be emancipated from the chemical slavery that is alcoholism and addiction, and because even though she was long gone, he wanted his mother to know that he could do, what he said he could do, and now it was time to go home… And oh yeah, he did it for Shaky Acres.
Of course we were celebrating Tutsie long before we started Shaky Acres and he swam to St. John. I first recorded “Tutsie” for BANG Records in 1965, (we wore it out on the Juke box at Duffys) and then again for RCA in 1975 as La Biega Carosuel/Tutsie. If you listen closely to this more recent recording of La Biega Carousel/Tutsie (made in St. Thomas in 2005) you’ll hear our friends Jeff Medina, Morgan Rael, Lennie Monsanto, Richard Spencley, Cliff Finch, and Robbie Roberts, strummin’ and bangin’ out the groove and the beautiful ”Of GOD”, Mighty Whitey and April Moran AKA “The Trader Dan’s Forever Memorial Choir” on the choruses. God Bless Emancipation Day and God Bless Us Each And Every One.
Scott Fagan
La Biega Carousel/Tutsie
Copyright 2012, Scott Fagan Music ASCAP.
“I AM” and “Kings And Pawns”
Here are two singles (The A sides) that we did for EPIC Records in 1969-70. They were arranged by David Woods, a wonderful Guitar Player and arranger and an even more wonderful human being. The sessions were produced by Barry Kornfeld and Joe (Silvio Martinez) Kookoolis. The first one is “I AM” which Joe and I wrote after reading Richard Wright’s “The Man Who Cried I AM”. The second single was “Kings And Pawns”.
We were just about to go into production with our Rock Opera SOON, and were Brecht and Weill boys as you can hear in the content and sound (most particularly Kings And Pawns) of these recordings.
“I AM”
“Kings And Pawns”
I hope you’ll dig ’em!
Scott Fagan And The MAAC Island Band @ Gullifty’s Camp Hill PA.
Here’s a picture taken by our beautiful friend and Producer “Digital Dave” recently at Gullifty’s a great spot in Camp Hill Pa. Just behind and to my right is the great Bass Player “Bobby Fry JR”. It was a Wonderful Gig, I wish you had been there with us. We look forward to seeing you soon!
“SCOTT FAGAN And The MAAC Island Band” In CONCERT One Night Only HERSHEY AREA PLAYHOUSE, Hershey PA. August 3rd 2013, 7:00 PM
“SCOTT FAGAN And The MAAC Island Band” IN CONCERT One Night Only..THE HERSHEY AREA PLAYHOUSE, 830 Cherry Dr., Hershey, PA. August 3rd , 7:00pm -CALL Box Office for Ticket Information: 717.533.8525
Scott Fagan (Singer/Songwriter) has been an international recording artist since he left high school in St. Thomas Virgin Islands to sign with Columbia Records in 1964. Some reviews..Cashbox Magazine: Spinal Tap melodies…His range is phenomenal. Billboard: “A Poet”. William Krasilovsky, Author, THIS BUSINESS OF MUSIC, l & ll: “Scott Fagan is a genius. I’ll certify that.” The MAAC ISLAND BAND is: Rafael “El Jefe” Martinez, (El Congero) From Hormigueros, Puerto Rico, he has been a “Congero” for over 25 years. Drew Washington, The BASS Man of Choice for the MAAC ISLAND BAND. Has played at the highest levels, for over 30 Years. Tim Griesemer, (El Maestro) Well known for his extraordinary gifts as a drummer. He is a master of percussion. Barbara Vajda, A Steelton guitar Goddess with a long history as a rocker. After a hiatus to raise little ones, the Goddess is back with Scott Fagan and The MAAC Island Band. Benny Danner, (El Estudeante) Percussion plus….Gary Smith, (El Nuevo) Back Ground Vocals and Percussion. Visit our website @ www.scottfaganandthemaacislandband.com Listen to our latest single “Sure has been Good Loving You Baby” @ http://www.youtube.com check out our latest album @ www.10greatsongsongsinsearchofanaudience.com CONTACT INFO: Tim Griesemer, 717.439.1919 or Scott Fagan, 717.592.0853
In Honor Of Bastille Day! “Granfaddah Buckra An De Bo’Hog”
GRAN FADDAH BUCKRA AN DE BO’ HOG
Click The Link for the recording…
Granfaddah Buckra and the Bo’hog
Well… now it happen so dat Gran Faddah Buckra had de biggest, de schupides, de ugliest, de stinkis, de noisiest and de nastyiest Bo Hog anybody had evah seen..
de Buckra liked to call him King George, and he loved dat Bo Hog like a Bruddah
One day de neighbor dem come sae…,
“Buckra, you know Black people is good people, an de don mine if yu wan tu live wid dem an roun dem an side a dem oh undah neet a dem oh on top a dem or all in de middle an in between a dem excepin’ when dat big stinkin ugly’ bo’ hog of yours own “dat yu likes tu call King George”, du knock doun he pig pen “dat yu likes tu call he Castle of King George” an wha yu set up right in de middle a de yad, dat yu likes tu call “de Kingdom of King George” when dat Bo’ hog come rootin up in every body business all ovah de yad, an throwin’ doun de cloths line wid all de chirren dem clean clothes on it, an rootin’ up an rollin up in all de woman dem clean panty, rootin up and rollng ovah doung in de dutty mud an stinkin’ up de place an oinkin up de place an squealin up de place like de las pig outta hell an wakin’ up all de people dem in de yad which of late has happen almos every single night a de week an twice on Sunday,
An Buckra, like we say, yu n kno black people is good people an we don mine, but Buckra OH God Buckra,.we tink is time you should go live among yu own kine”..
Me own kine? sae de Buckra, me own kine? Wha kina kine yu tink is me own kine?
De boldest of de Neighbah dem sae “we have contemplated and conclude you should go live doun in Cha Cha tuun”,
“Cha Cha toun? Say de Buckra, Cha Cha Toun?”
Yes sah Buckra we have decided that you should go live wid de res a dem Cha Cha doun in Cha Cha toun”
“Yu tink oy is a Cha cha? Yu tink oy is a Cha Cha?
Yu loy,! Yu don kno I is a white man?
I ain no Cha Cha, yu Muddah is a Cha Cha!”
No no! de uddah Neighbah say, no no not a Cha Cha, St. Thomas ain ga no Cha Cha no more, We doesn use that expression no more, she mean tu sae you should go live wid de res a dem doun Carenage..ers doun in Carenage..
Carenage? Carenage? Who yu callin a Carenage? yu Muddah is aa Carenage!
No No Mistah Buckra, das de Frenchie dem way tu say French Toun,
French Toun? French Toun? Yu tink I should go live in French Toun?
Yes sah Mistah Buckra, Everybody in de yad say yu is a Balahoo..
Das why yu should go livewid de res a de balahoo dem doun in Cha Cha, ah mean French ah mean Carenage Toun!
Anuddah neibah pipe in
“Yes man yu keeian see how it is?
Guana should live wid Guana,
Mongoose should live wid Mongoose,
Guava don grow onna Cenepe Tree and yu shluld be wid de res a de Frenchie, Doun in Frenchie Toun”
De Buckra hot now, he say Guana? Guana? Who yu callin a Guana? Yu muddah is a Guana!
Not a Guana, de neighbah sae, not a Guana, yu is a Frenchie.
“Oy? Oy? You schupid oh sumting? Yu damn forward AN schupiddy Oy ain no Frenchie, Oy Is a white man yu talking to… Any body cou see I is a white man,.. wha wrang wid yu, anybody cou see Buckra De Paehae is a white man!”
Buckra, (say de very darkest a de neighbah dem) Buckra, If you is a white man I is a Frenchie, if yu is a white man, why we don hear yu Yankin, Buckra, why we don hear yu yankin?”
“Yankin? Yankin? Sae de Buckra, yu want tu hear me Yankin?”
“Ok den.
AYHMM COME FRUM ALABAMA
WID A BANJO ON MAH KNEE, BUT NOW AH MMM JES A SAILOR IN THE U.S NAYVEE”
“Yu see wha ah tell yu? Yu see wha ah tell yu? De neighbah sae, he ain no white man, he ain no white man. He keeian yank! Bou he is a white man, a white man wha keeian Yank? Yu evah see a white man wha keeian yank? De Buckra ain no white man, he is nuttin’ but a mushay! Ah say Sen im doun French Town!
Oh yeah say de Buckra, Oh Yeah? Ok, den.. “AH KIN SEE AHMM A GONNA HALF TA TALK REAL SERIOUS TU YAALLS SO YALL’S GONNA KNOW DAT YU IS TALKIN’ WID A BIG TIME AN IMPORTANT WHITE MAN WHEN YU IS DEALING WID DE BUCKRA.
NAH AHM A GONNA TELL YA SUNPIN, AH DON’T LIKE DE WAY SOMEFOLKS IS BEEN HARASSIN’ AN HOG TIEIN’ MY GOOD KING GEORGE THE PO’K SWINE WID YER CLOTHLINES EVERY NIGHT AN AHMM A GITTIN’ TIURD AH TELLIN YA SO,
BUT JUS SOS, DERES NO HARD FEELINS,AN DIS DON’T BECOME SOME KINA FUGE, AH RECKON AHMM A GONNA PACK UP MAH SADDLEBAGS AN TAKE MA HERD, AH MEAN MA BO’HOAWAWG, AN MOSEY ON DOUN WEST.
Yes Yes, Buckra de neighbah dem say, yes yes das de bes ting Buckra, mosey on doun west to Cha Cha toun…
An Me Boy, das when de REAL trouble start!
Buckra and de Bo’ Hog went straight doun to French Town an walk right in to de famous Normandy Bah, it wa round 11 a clock in de mawnin so naturally de place wa almos full. Half a de man dem wa teachin’ high school and mos a de legislatue was doun dare tu get a good head start on de day. Plus a few Sailah Man…
Now de Bucvkra had done make up he mine dat he ain talking no mo Island talk, because he ain wan nobody to make no mo mistake bou de fac dat is a white man through an through, from den on he Yankin straight,
Well… maybe a white man wid a lil someting else throw in in dare but all de same de Buckra say he Yankin’ straight.
“WAL MA GOOD FRENCHIE FELLOW” he say to de lil bahman “ LEMME HAVE DE BES RED SODA DAT YOU GOT IN DE PLACE AN PLUS AH WANTS TU RENT A LIL HOUSE FROM Y’ALL DOUN IN DIS HEAH FRENCH TOWN”
Dat time a man name Magras, sae “
“Hey hey wait meson wait, Wha yu tink yu goin wid dat Bo hog?”Dis is de Narmandy Bah, only de bes a people cu come in in side a heah an we don deal wid no Bo Hag doun French Toun , We is fishah man doug here, RIDERS ON THE SEA! You in de wrang place me boy, yu bettah go Nart side whea yu cou join up wid de res a dem RIDERS ON A DONKEY, an fuddah mo you ain no Frenchie! You mubbee som kina doublebreed Daneman an Putto Rician from Sain Croix!
All dis time three or fo drunken Sailah done feed King George de Bo Hog mo dan a quart a rum and coke chase down wid bou five or six cold schafah beer me boy, and de Bo Hog feelin’ it now.
“OINK! OINK! SQUEEE! SQUEEE! OINK! OINK! SQUEEE! SQUEEE! Say de Bo Hag.
Den he take off trunning roung and roung in de Normandy Bah, tunnin up and knockin doun table a chair, lef and right, all ovah de place, dis time he change he tune he bawling out “ (SQUEEYAW SQUEEYAW OINK OINK! SQUEEYAW! SQUEEYAW! De nex ting yu know de Bo Hag stop an start tu swing and sawy. He open he eye dem wide wide and den… he vomit up a Green an Yellow tidal wave of de wus stinkin frat full a ole drawers and panty yu evah see.
De sailah dem killing dey self wid de laugh, but de Frenchie dem don tink it’s so funny ah tall.
Well me boy, Buckra an de Bo Hag had tu haul dey “humpf” outta French Town man dey two a dem run straight an all de way up Demarara Gut through mo jackspania and catchankee… dem boy ain stop til de reach de very top a Crown an some ways doun de uddah side.
An dats how Buckra and de Bo Hag fus arrive in Nelteburg.
But befo yu know it dat Bo Hog King George wa makin trouble an terrorizing de poor people dem out dare, rooting up in de peppah patch and knockin doun de cloths line.. well until he disappeared one day.
Some people say King George de Bo’ Hog decided tu go St. John an is de Faddah and de Gran Faddah of mos a de wus a de wile pig an even some a de wile donkey dem harassin de people dem up dare in St. John,
Som uddah people say dem Nart side French man finally get tu hol de Bo’ hog,, an had de biggis roas pig of all time, evah dat Bastille Day doun Hull bay,
But mos of all a taxi man say he know fo a fac dat dem boy from the de Agricultural Station out Dorithia catch King George an dress him up like a touris an put him onna touris boat, an nobody didn’t notice de difference between he an de res a dem til’ dey reach back Florida me boy.
I don kno about dat, but de pert I tell yu, is wha happen an das de trut de whole trut an nuttin but de trut… So help me Miss Gearty!
Scott Fagan's Mem.wa? 